2 years ago

That's when things really went wrong. i never really remember being happy but two years ago, dear me, its a milestone. In celebration I've been in bed the last two days realising....there isn't actually anything to my life. I've only spoken to my boyfriend and one friend in the last three weeks, I have no job, no qualifications, my family seriously need to fix themselves before they come near me... there really is nothing.

Should I be happy about this though? Okay, so I have no money, no friends or family by me, no one to help but isn't this what I wanted. No pressure. Although I suppose I do have pressure. Im madly in love with my boyfriend. So I have the pressure without the pleasures? but so what? should that even matter. I need something to live for, and considering I dont know how to have fun or what I want to do with my life, it's very very hard to find. I need a new start with a new focus....unfortunatly the only thing i can think of is being thin. I don't want to go back there. do i?

My boyfriend had a girlfriend before me for just over a year.She's very different to me; prety, slim,happy, fun.Everything i want to be, but more plastic. Annd oh yes, ohhhh yesss, just in time shes got back in touch with him. Phoning him, adding him on facebook. Should i be more like her? maybe then id be happy...